Let’s Vibe – Blog

Liberator is the chief among sex furniture and the most iconic in the category. Its product enhance intimacy by inspiring creativity and romantic imagination. Simply put, Liberator claims to be the greatest invention for sex since the bed – and we do agree on that! The brand is all about making sex and everything else more enjoyable – all while making it happen with discreet furniture items no one would take a second glance at.

If you are interested in sex furniture but have no idea how to go about buying it, you are in the right place. At Lets Vibe we have all your Liberator needs. This post will tell you everything you need to know about Liberator sex furniture to help you make an informed purchase.

What is sex furniture?

First things first. By now you already have an idea what sex furniture is, however, in a nutshell, it’s any piece of furniture that aids in sexual experience. This can be for making certain positions easier, add excitement to your sexual life, or even for those with handicaps or injuries.

Female orgasm

If the G-spot orgasm is an allusive and mystical experience for you, or it is the only way to achieve total sexual satisfaction, the Liberator shapes can help you get that G-spot explosion more quickly and easily.

A G-spot orgasm happens when the front wall of the vagina is stimulated with intense, direct pressure. For some people may be difficult to hit that spot in most traditional sex positions, so bending the female partner over a Liberator shape allow the G-spot to be angled upward and more readily accessible and more pressure can easily be applied on it during penetration. In fact, with Liberator sex furniture, there are hundreds of sex positions couples can try out to facilitate the G-spot.

Our favorite item from Liberator is the Black Label “Esse” – Whether you and your partner are in for some R&R or some S&M, there is no end to the potential of the Black Label Esse. Every angle has been designed to provide the best access, sweetest angles, and most enticing possibilities. Discover 360 degrees of the best sex of your life. Your head, neck, and back will be cradled in almost any position you can imagine, and the added height and ergonomic slopes will provide the deepest penetration possible.

What is the best position with Liberator Sex Furniture?

There is no answer to that. What does matter is that with Liberator shapes you will naturally engage in a variety of sex positions and with time you will discover what angle or variety of positions will work best for you. Let it go with your imagination and your bedroom play won’t become a boring matter. For every Liberator shape, there is an array of sex positions.

The Rodeo

The height of the wedge lets her tease and please him with hip twists, back-and-forth rubs and up-and-down pumps. With her arms locked in place she can revel in throw-the-head-back abandon while keeping him pinned.

High-rise Doggy Style

Being up on your hands and knees for too long can make you feel a little wobbly by being continually pulled back and forward, however with the wedge against your legs for support, you won’t have to focus as much on maintaining stability for the position. Therefore your focus will be on enjoying the sensations.

Push to Start

For those who want to take the action out of the bed, the ramp can be used on any flat surface such as a table or any other piece of furniture. By leaning her over the ramp on a flat surface, this off-the-bed position provides a slight arch on her back allowing easier entry for the penis to push against her G-Spot with every stroke. It also lets both partners add more excitement and hair-pulling action.

The Lustful Cobra

This position serves a dual purpose by leaning her body forward. It provides a better angle to stimulate her G-Spot and gives him a privileged view of her genitals in action. The wedge supports his fulcrum point letting him thrust upward while the ramp provides extra lower back support, allowing him to preform longer and better.

Can Liberator help prevent pain during intercourse?

Sexual intimacy must not be limited to one sex position, and if you experience pain during intercourse you need to explore different positions to facilitate pain-free penetration. For example, placing a pillow under the woman’s buttocks if she is on her back can help. Trying intercourse from a side-lying position, and, if necessary, placing a pillow between the woman’s knees can further comfort and increase pelvic opening. Liberator shapes can help you with all that. With all different shapes and sizes, you will be able to explore all possibilities to make sex as pleasurable as it is supposed to be.

Can Liberator improve sex for those with a small penis?

Yeah! Forget about pills and pumps; some unique positioning is all the enhancement your penis needs when trying to get deeper during penetration. The average size of the penis among most men is 5 to 6 inches when erect, but for males that are underfunded in this area, Liberator creates perfect angles to provide a more pleasurable penetration for both partners. To her, he’ll feel bigger. To him, she’ll feel tighter. It’s the best of both worlds, offering deeper penetration and increased stimulation. When it comes to Liberator, angles make the pleasure possible, not size.

What is Liberator made of?

All Liberator sex furniture began with a high caliber, high-density, polyurethane foam core (what Liberator call the Champagne Foam), which spent months being designed, engineered and tested to meet Liberator standards. (Yes, testing was the most fun part of the process.) The result is a perfect balance of firm support (two moving bodies need plenty of that) and plush cushioning.

The foam core is encased in a smooth inner liner, which is made of a silky, water-resistant nylon fabric. Aside from being a great place for slipping, sliding sex, the liner also serves to compress the foam and make replacing the outer cover even easier.

The outer cover is what sets Liberator shapes from other sex furniture in the market. A Microfiber combination of nylon and cotton, it feels like the softest velvet, yet it’s much harder than velvet and can be unzipped and tossed into your washing machine. Another amazing benefit of this patent-pending fabric is that it grips like Velcro. That means you can stack and stick your shapes together, and the fabric will not slip and slide during use. A stable playground is a fun playground.

How do I care for my Liberator Sex Furniture?

All Liberator covers are stain-resistant and easy to clean. The sensuous Microfiber cover zips right off and washes up like a pair of jeans. The inner, water-resistant nylon liner can be wiped down with a damp cloth or sponge. When not in use, you can keep your Liberator shape from collecting dust by storing it in an optional nylon gear bag. Your Liberator will last you a long, long time. But remember, always wash it in cold water!

Now that you learned these things about Liberator sex furniture you will understand that these mighty shapes are perfect for anyone wanting to try a variety of new positions. Indeed, whether you’re attempting to hit some new spots, or go deeper, or in any other case take your sex play to new levels, Liberator is for you. It’s all about the angles.

Incorporating sex toys into play and seeking new things can fully revitalize your sex into a more spectacular and amusing event. Liberator sex furniture will dramatically increase and improve your sexual experiences with an entirely new way to approach sex. Check out what’s new online in our shop!

Please feel free to reach out to Let’s Vibe if there is something you cannot find on our site or if it’s sold out, we can put in a special order!

Chrissy Lassen

Most sex toys have a stated “purpose,” like clitoral stimulation, prostate play, etc. But don’t let the box instructions stop you from experimenting. Chances are, your current sex toys (or future sex toys) have surprise talents.

With sex toys every sexual encounter tends to get even better.

Here are some of my favorite ways to repurpose sex toys into brand new pleasure tools. To get the most out of your toy friends, try these tricks!

1. Love your suction vibe?
   Use it on your nipples. Suction toys like the Lela Sona use sonic waves to stimulate you, rather than vibration. The sensation feels closer to oral sex than more traditional vibes, but since it uses contactless stimulation, the orgasm build-up is longer, with a payoff that’s incredibly intense. Fun fact: it’s 100% waterproof! Using body-safe medical grade silicone not only ensures your complete piece of mind and ease of cleaning, but also allows you to explore the unique sensations of SONA’s sonic waves and pulses in the bath or shower!

So try this, while suction toys feel amazing on your clitoris, you can use it on your nipples to simulate someone sucking on them. Nipples stimulate the same area of the brain that genitals do (the genital sensory cortex), so applying a toy can help you have a nipplegasm (yes…they exist.)

2. Love your dildo?
   Use it for temperature play Dildos and other insertion toys are fantastic for G-spot and P-spot stimulation. I typically recommend them as an additive to your existing masturbation routine, so that you can go for internal orgasms while you stimulate your clitoris or penis.

But for a low-lift way to try temperature play, here’s a cool trick. Try this! put your dildo in the fridge for 10 minutes or immerse it in ice water. Stainless steel toys and glass toys conduct temperature particularly well, and when you insert it, you’ll stimulate your brain’s neuroreceptors. This arouses your nervous system, prompting your body to pump more blood to your genitals, making those internal nerve endings more sensitive and orgasmic.

3. Love your bullet vibe? Use it for perineum stimulation.

Bullet vibrates are the little black dress of sex toys: fast arousal, no-fuss technology, small enough to pinpoint the clitoris. For most vulva owners, they’re the first sex toy we own…but you can spread the love to a partner, while you go down on them.

Next time you’re giving oral sex to a penis owner, run your bullet vibe along their perineum: the stretch of skin running from their testicles to their anus. It’s rich with nerve endings, but this also indirectly stimulates their prostate gland. That’s the gland responsible for deep, internal orgasms in penis owners, similar to a G-spot orgasm in vulva owners. For advanced prostate play, insert a (well-lubed) finger into their anus after your bullet vibe action. Super erotic, and if you’re able to reach the prostate gland with your finger, you can help them have blended orgasm. Cue full-body convulsions of pleasure. Here are some options!

4. Love your vibrating penis ring? Put it on your finger.

Penis rings are used to help penis owners maintain an erection. They keep blood trapped inside the penis during sex, so that it stays hard during foreplay and intercourse. More recently though, vibrating penis rings have hit the market, and are primarily used as a couples toy. That’s because the vibrations feel good on the base of the shaft, but during penetration, they also stimulate the clitoris or anal opening of your partner. That’s not where the magic stops, though.

Try this out! stretch your penis ring over your two fingers, and slide it down your fingers as far as you can. If you’re going down on a vulva owner, insert the top part of your fingers inside their vagina, while the ring vibrates against their vaginal opening. Next-level stimulation! You can also use this same trick while performing anal massage, using the top part of your fingers for penetration, and the ring part to wake up the sensitive nerve endings around their anal opening.

Here are some rings to try if you’d like to add to your collection!

5. Love your G-spot or P-spot massager? Ride ‘m.

G-spot toys and P-spot toys generally have a singular purpose. Once you’re sufficiently aroused, you insert them into the vagina for G-spot stimulation, or the anus for prostate stimulation. The idea is to give yourself more internal pleasure, accessing a deeper part of your pelvic floor. The vibes may even lead to an internal orgasm, the kind many describe as a full-body release.

But if your hands are working too hard, try this: place your toy between pillows, generously apply lube, and kneel down on top of your toy for insertion. You may have to ease into position slowly to find the best angle for you and your toy, but once you do, boom: DIY sex machine. If you’re going for prostate pleasure, just make sure that any toy you use has a flared base, so it doesn’t go too far into your anal cavity.

Let’s up your collection with these options!

6. Love your Magic Wand? Try it over clothes.

It’s called the Mack Truck of sex toys for very good reason: magic wand vibes are powerful. So powerful, that if you’re used to using it on bare skin, your solo sex sessions might be short and sweet. And that’s great! Sometimes you want to get off in a hurry. But when you’ve got the time and inclination for slower, deeper masturbation, here’s a variation that allows arousal to build more gradually.

Keep your clothes on, and vibe the Magic Wand on your genitals. The fabric buffer actually creates a whole new range of sensations, and will bring you to orgasm more gently – with just as intense a payoff. Trust me, the vibrations are definitely still powerful enough to get you there, but I like this method when you don’t want to mess with undressing.

And there you have it! Your favorite sex toys reveal their hidden talents. Try these tricks next time you’re feeling creative, and want to explore the pleasurable possibilities. And remember, if you want a good time look no further then our website: Let’s Vibe!

Shay Lassen

Looking for a new online intimate boutique to satisfy your desires? Let’s Vibe is here to help. You’ll find the perfect item for your bedroom (or anywhere else you might want to have a little fun) with a wide variety of adult toys and more.

Chrissy Beyerle and Diana van Erp launched Let’s Vibe in Kelowna in June 2022, and the website has quickly become a BC online leader when shopping for personal pleasure. From lubes and lotions to vibrators and BDSM, no matter what your preference is, Let’s Vibe has everything you need to spice up your sex life. Chrissy says, “It’s exciting to give something a try.” And if you’re not sure exactly what to try, Chrissy and Diana are always available to answer any questions.

But there’s more to Let’s Vibe than just individual items. Let’s Vibe also offers subscription boxes. Choose a price range and frequency (monthly or quarterly), and Let’s Vibe will curate a box filled with goodies to make sure you have something new and exciting each time. Diana adds, “If you’re a couple or if it’s just for you, they’re filled with surprises that everybody will love.” And who doesn’t love surprises?

Orders are processed within 1 to 2 business days and are shipped via Canada Post and UPS. If you’re concerned about privacy, Let’s Vibe ensures everything sent out is discreetly packaged and labelled.

Let’s Vibe is perfect for those wanting to try something new or to explore their sexuality. Whether it’s an individual item, a subscription box, or just advice from Chrissy and Diana, Let’s Vibe has everything you need for a great experience.

If you’ve never dabbled in intimate sex play, check out www.letsvibe.ca for Chrissy and Diana’s complete product line and to place an order.

Don’t be shy; take a chance and see what kind of pleasure awaits you.

Pet names? Ready to go.

Dirty talk? No dice.

Sometimes, you’re gearing up to drop a sexy line just to have your brain go blank, like writer block but in an intimate moment. Dirty talk during sex leaves many people tongue-tied, stumbling over words, resorting to tried-and-true but tired phrases or awkward laughs.

Learning how to talk dirty without feeling like you’ve stepped into a cliché is an art, and your cheat sheet is below. Even if your bedroom banter has never been better, we can guarantee you’ll learn something new.

So let’s start off with the basics, what is dirty talk?

Dirty talk is the use of provocative language to enhance a sexual experience. Pet names, sexual commands, insults, and vivid erotic imagery are common dirty talk themes that can be used to embellish your erotic encounters.

Dirty talk is not just confined to the bedroom- it can take place before, during, or after a sexual experience with the goal of provoking, exciting, or arousing the listener.

Sexting, thirst traps and sliding into those DM’s

Gone are the days of arranging your booty calls via carrier pigeon. These days messaging apps & dating platforms are able to facilitate virtual encounters that offer new & creative ways to talk dirty. There are so many different ways to play in this digital playground, we’ve had to create special names in order to differentiate them. Take a look at five ways that people are redefining dirty talk in cyberspace:

1.0 Sexting

Sexting is a versatile form of dirty talk that involves sending sexually explicit messages, photos, videos, and/or audio recordings on a messaging app, dating app, or social sharing platform.

2.0 Thirst Trap

A (typically provocative & revealing) self-portrait designed to attract attention, most commonly in the form of compliments and praise. The term Thirst Trap first appeared on twitter in 2011, meant to embody the desperate (aka thirsty) characteristics of early 2000’s selfie culture.

3.0 Sliding Into (Your/Their) DM’s

Soliciting a romantic or sexual conversation, typically with a total stranger, via a direct message (DM). “Sliding into DMs” is generally viewed as a low-risk way to indicate your romantic interest in a person.

Now that we know some of the terms let’s move on to enhancing your dirty talk!

Recycle Turn Off Words

There are very few examples of what dirty talk sounds like outside of pornography so we often look to it as a source of inspiration, but pornography highlights a very specific style of dirty talk.

If the “cum dumpster” vibe isn’t making you feel cute- recycle it. Dirty talk is most erotic when it feels genuine and authentic, so stick to terms that feel natural and familiar to you.

Vocalize What You See/Smell/Taste/Hear/Feel

Describing what you see, smell, taste, hear, and feel can allow your loved ones to tap in to your sensual experience, heightening excitement, and increasing pleasure. Take a look at these sentence starters to see how you can invite your partner into your sensory experience:

You look so sexy when…

Do you feel how…

I love how you…

That feels amazing when…

Talk Back

Conversations are not one sided. When we fail to respond to or validate our partners, we can make them feel discouraged and reluctant to engage. Talking dirty requires us to be vulnerable with one another- and that deserves acknowledgement. A simple “Yes, ma’am,” or “Thank you, daddy” can take your dirty talk experience to the next level.

Ask Questions

Asking questions is the foundation for any great sexual experience and can reveal incredible details about your partners sexual preferences, kinks and fantasies. If you find that your running low on original material, asking questions can be a wonderful way to reclaim the moment. Just be sure not to go overboard- most of us aren’t looking to be interrogated when we’re getting intimate.

Compliment Your Partners Performance

Validation can sound very different in the context of some of our most intimate encounters. Have fun with creating different ways to compliment your partner for their performance, attitude, appearance, or sportsmanship.

Master Your Inflection & Pitch

Say it like you mean it. Do you want to fuck me or do you want to fuck me? Pitch and inflection can influence a person’s sexual experience in dramatic ways.

Keep it NSFW

The best thing about dirty talk? You can do it anywhere, anytime. Thanks to modern technology, you can send a virtual calling card from anywhere in the world with complete discretion. This has not only revolutionized long-distance relationships, but has created an avenue for couples to commune digitally outside the walls of their home.

Wrapping up this dirty talk how-to guide, it’s essential to touch on one more thing: Insecurity and doubt. It’s totally normal to feel insecure, uncomfortable, or like you lack self-confidence when you start learning how to talk dirty. Explicit dialogue, whether in person, via text, or phone sex, can be intimidating, especially if it’s unfamiliar territory.

But everyone starts somewhere.

Lets vibe strives to help everyone in every department of the bedroom, and this is just one of many blogs that can help!

Keep reading and remember, keep it dirty and let’s continue vibing.

Shay Lassen

They are educational and lots of fun, for what ever the occasion may call for. You and your friends will see the latest and greatest in adult toys, learn some stuff, while laughing out loud and enjoying the fact that you are in the comfort of your own space. All orders are 100% confidential and by booking your party you are on your way to earning some amazing, fun stuff.

* Toy Party’s

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Don’t want to have a party but want to shop the very best in adult toy products? All products are also shipped discreetly so you never need to worry when purchasing at LetsVibe.ca!

Email us to book your party! [email protected]

As the sun becomes more apparent and birds begin to sing, our sexual appetite like Spring comes alive and according to experts, this is the season to have the best sex.

Here’s why:

Winter automatically is deemed to be the ideal season to have sex because of its cold weather patterns.

Autumn tends to fall within the same season bracket as winter, and summer is just one ball of hotness.

According to experts, right now is the ideal time to have the best sex because according to our bodies, this is when we are at our horniest.

Experts believe that wearing less clothing also contributes to one feeling sexy and in the mood.

Like birds’ mate in spring, humans become friskier this time of the year.

Help your love bloom this spring by planning fun, sexy ways to spend time with your significant other. Whether you’ve been married for years or are just starting something new, spring is the perfect season to fan the flame and keep your relationship exciting.

So it’s time for sex positions to put some spring time energy in your bed While spooning and laying cuddled up is perfect in the winter, in the spring you may want to be a bit more wild and, frankly, remember what each other actually looks like naked. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or looking for a spring break fling, it’s a fun and silly season where you should be able to start moving outside of your comfort zone again. 

A good classic to start with is “legs up”

How To Do It: Start in legs-up missionary and then have your partner sit back onto their knees. You may need to adjust your legs to find a comfortable position and definitely consider using a pillow to protect your lower back.

Why It’s Great For Spring: It’s definitely not your normal missionary position, so it’s great for coming out of your shell. Plus, you’ll get really, really, deep penetration.

And of course, Doggy. You can never go wrong with this position!

How To Do It: You know the drill — on all fours, while our partner kneels in between your legs. The trick here is to play with how close or far away your knees are to vary the snugness (and decide what fun to have with your extra hand).

Why It’s Great For Spring: There’s finally some energy in the air again and people are feeling friskier, so this classic, animalistic style is perfect.

Here’s something different that you may have never heard of, the cross.

How To Do It: Your partner lies on their side while you lie on your back, perpendicular to each other. Slowly edge your way down toward your partner and put your legs over theirs while you guide them inside you.

Why It’s Great For Spring: It’s definitely not an under-the-blanket for winter position. You’re both out there, getting amazing views of each other— and there is great clit play! Throw in a new vibrator from letsvibe.ca and you’ll be set!

Get on top girl, show him how you can take control!

How To Do It: Straddle your partner and slowly lower yourself down. You can lean forward and place your arms in front or lean backward and still use your arms to brace yourself. Either way, enjoy being in control.

Why It’s Great For Spring: Come out of your shell with a bang. It’s a take-charge position for Getting what you really want, so it’s perfect for spring!

Get up, let’s try it while standing!

How To Do It: I really want to call this “standing forward fold” because it’s basically a yoga move. Stand with your legs hip width apart — you should feel stable — and slowly bend over. Your partner stands behind you and, holding your hips for stability, enters you from behind. some Lube and being close to a wall can make this a smoother transition.

Why It’s Great For Spring: Hop out of bed, throw off the blankets, and go for it. It’s an active, sexy position that will make you feel like sexperts.

We’ve done standing, so why not try it in a chair!

How To Do It: Your partner sits in a chair and you lower yourself onto them. It’s great for bouncing and grinding — and you can even switch it up by facing away from your partner.

Why It’s Great For Spring: Why should you be limited to the bedroom? This position will take you places, plus it’s still intimate with face-to-face contact.

X marks the spot!

How To Do It: Lay on on the bed, a table — anything so you’re about hip height with your partner. As they stand up and enter you, cross your legs and rest them on your chest. Play around with how tight you have them crossed, because there are a lot of different sensations.

Why It’s Great For Spring: You can get amazing views of each other and it’s a really tight position that still give you easy access for clit play. It’s all about coming out of your shell.

The sun is finally coming out, people. We’re starting to get some vitamin D and hopefully in more then one way and feel human again, so it’s time to get a little more active in the bedroom.

Spring is here! Let’s vibe, let’s play.

Shay Lassen

K Valentine’s Day—it’s the most romantic day of the year, right? For some, maybe, especially if you’re in a relationship, falling in love, or excited by a new crush. But for others—even those in happy relationships—the occasion is gag-worthy. Really, like most things, it’s all a matter of personal preference. That said, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it’s totally normal to feel a tad lonely, grumpy, and/or tired of it all. Get one thing straight, though: there ain’t nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day—or any day.

Here I offer you some steamy ways to spice up good ol’ V-Day when you’re single, horny and just want to make the day something you will enjoy and make you feel loved.

1. Flirt with your online crush

I’m gonna jump right in here and say that while being single is something we all need to be at various times in our lives, you’ve got needs. Whether you’re looking for love or simply looking for some attention (and maybe even some action), own it. If you’re one of the rare holdouts who has yet to install Tinder or any of the kajillion other dating sites/apps—but you secretly want to—go ahead and give it a try already. Don’t take it too seriously, but at the very least, see what’s out there. If you’re already well accustomed to the circus that is online dating and you’ve managed to narrow your roster down to a love interest or two, I say flirt the night away via phone, chat, or—if you trust them— a FaceTime call.

2. Pleasure yourself

You don’t need a hot date to get lucky on Valentine’s Day—or ever. Go ahead, up the ante with a new toy. Pleasure is yours to harness 365 days a year, after all. So revamp that toy chest and prepare to let the good times roll, babe. Whether you’re in need of some good vibes, filling up on some dildo delights or some anal adventuring, simply break out your fave toy and rock your way to V-Day bliss. Hell, rock your way to everyday bliss.

3. Love yourself

Self-love can take many forms. Go ahead and pamper yourself with a face mask, DIY mani-pedi, a relaxing bath, candles, incense, relaxing music—whatever calls you. Don’t want to go out? There are lots of little luxuries you can enjoy at home that can make the day feel romantic—and romance is not just for couples! Self-care can feel romantic when you treat yourself exactly the way you like. Food delivery apps are likely going to be swamped that night, so it might make more sense to plan on making dinner instead. Make sure you have all the ingredients you need to treat yourself and make your favourite meal. Maybe that includes a fancy beverage, and maybe some dessert, too, if you’re feeling ambitious. If you’re not a baker (or, if you reached your limit baking all those Christmas goodies not to long ago ), get something decadent delivered a few days before and freeze it. Take the ambiance up a notch and prepare playlists to dine, dance, and get dirty to. Deep down, you know what you need. And/or, if there’s something that you’ve been dying to get, but have been too afraid to splurge on, do it. Whatever you do, treat yo’self.

4.Try sexotics 14 night love box!

You want to try something new but don’t know where to start? Try Sexotics new 14 night love box! You think BDSM is interesting? There is Some light bdsm is in this box to get you started. https://sexotic.ca/products/14-night-love-box

Going out for dinner and want to make it spicy? Surprise we got just the right item to make your night vibe! Do you like games? Ones that you can play in the bedroom? We got that covered too!

Roses are red, violets are blue

Sexotics 14 night love box

Is just right for you!

5. Write a letter to your ex and burn it!

If you’re like me and still coping with some leftover rage or heartbreak, do yourself a favor and process it in an intentional way this V-Day. Write a letter to your ex with good old-fashioned pen and paper, running through any and all unfinished business stirring in your mind, and then burn that shit. This can be incredibly therapeutic. Love isn’t all chocolate and flowers. Sometimes, you just gotta let it burn so something new can grow in its place.

6. Learn your love language

Ever heard of love languages? The term has really grown in popularity in recent years. In essence, your love language is how you prefer to give and receive affection from others (romantic or otherwise). Committing to learning a bit more about how you work can do wonders! There’s many quizzes and books to help! Knowing your love language is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of what will actually make you happy and satisfied in a relationship.

7. Unplug for a day

Social media is everything, yes. But it can also be addictive, and toxic. It has the power to make even the most confident and independent people compare themselves to others. One of the most heinous things on Valentine’s is the endless sea of soppy status on Facebook and other social media. It’s cute if you want to show off your love, but not always nice to be on the receiving end of these notifications! Take a break from social media if you need to, you’ll be surprised by how free you feel without it and how much time you suddenly have. V-Day is a great time for an annual unplug if you ask me, and a great way to avoid the bombardment of mind-meltingly lovey posts. Do one better and take a hike, a walk in a park, or just stand outside and breathe some fresh air. Connecting with nature (however you can) can do wonders to ground you and give you a fresh perspective.

8. Get creative

Whether it’s an old painting you never finished, a novel you haven’t had time to work on, or a piano that taunts you as you pass it by, un-retire that shit and make a date with your inner fire, your creativity.

9. Make Valentines, and send ‘m out

Giving actual, physical valentines is not just for little kids. After all, there’s no joy like getting Valentine’s Day cards from your friends. Plus, if you’re stuck for ways to harness that aforementioned creativity, this one’s pretty perfect. Why not channel your affection into making some cute ’n flirty Valentines cards for everyone you love? Love, after all, tends to have a boomerang effect. And, if you have a crush, you might even send one their way too—whether anonymously…or not. YOLO, baby.

10. Throw an Anti-Valentine’s Day party

There’s no law against anti-Valentine’s Day parties. Chances are you’re not the only single person you know, so why not recruit the single people in your life and get together for some wine, some conversation, and some stories of perpetual singledom? If you’re like us, you can probably count on one hand how many times you’ve worn anything other than pyjama pants or jogging pants this past year. Putting on a nice outfit is bound to feel extra festive, plus you don’t have to take a coat and winter boots into consideration. Celebrate being single together. And, if you happen to be on the prowl, be sure to invite any (single) love interests as well!

Not everyone is in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, and some people don’t want to be in a relationship, ever, and that’s fine! It can be quite isolating to be single on V-Day, so it’s important to remember to practice self-love. Reconnect with single friends during this time, and make sure they know they’re loved too! If you don’t feel like spending time with anyone else on Valentine’s, make sure to take care of yourself. Have a bubble bath, buy yourself a little gift, or take yourself out on a date!

Bottom line: every day is for every one of us. So seize love this V-Day by doing justice to the love in your life: give it and get it in anyway you feel inspired to. Because that’s the stuff of life. 

Here’s to a very happy—and stress-free—Valentine’s Day! 🥂

Shay Lassen

Sex resolutions are just like regular resolutions: Like any other part of our lives from health to finances, our sex lives don’t thrive without regular investment. You make them after reflecting on the past and deciding how you want things to be different in the future. There’s no such thing as a “bad” sex resolution, as long as it works towards making sex more comfortable, pleasurable, and exciting for everyone involved. That could mean taking a whole new approach to the bedroom or just swapping out some toys. Even the smallest changes can lead to a world of difference, and it’s never too late to try something new. The same old, same old is so 2022.

The truth is, all the things that come with sex — full-bodied pleasure, deep awareness of our bodily senses, human connection, and a little creative play — are also all things we need to carry us through the times of stress. Regularly making time to feel good is soup for the soul. So why not Try out one sexy resolution a month for the next 12 months and see how much more connected and frisky you and your partner can be in 2023!

Not sure where to start? Grab your pad of paper and create your sexual bucket list for the next 12 months! Here’s some ideas to start your new year off with a bang (literally).

Learn more about yourself.

When it comes to changing and adding to your sexual routine, it’s important to start with yourself, even if you’re in a relationship.

Unexpected pleasure comes from all different places depending on who you each are, what your history is, and how you interact together. If you haven’t fully explored your body and your desires through something like masturbation or watching porn, why not take the time to practice with yourself before involving other people?

Here’s a few options you can try!

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Get back to the basics.

Sex can sometimes be intuitive, but there’s something to be said for doing your homework. There is many different position books for a reminder of the seemingly never-ending options for every type of couple and body, even if you don’t think you could ever replicate them.

Sometimes you can even discover amazing positions just by messing up the ones printed on pages.

Take to the sea.

Or any kind of water, really. Move from the bed to the bath (and beyond!), I know lots of people think sex in the shower would be to complicated, never knock something until you try it. Add some toys that work on dry and wet land and you’ll regret not trying it sooner! You could also add some lube to keep things smooth and easy.

Satisfyer Wand-er Women – Purple, Gold – STC Kelowna https://emea01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsexotic.ca%2Fproducts%2Fsatisfyer-wand-er-women-purple-gold-purple-gold&data=05%7C01%7C%7Cb5fdaaa3e6c548e7439108daf67ee1d3%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638093322051685411%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=SHmf5wMStiHQDcwvm5lMX1pb7XmGO9n8rUlGAsYIFoA%3D&reserved=0

Shots Toys Irresistible Seductive Air Pulse Stimulator – STC Kelowna https://emea01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsexotic.ca%2Fproducts%2Fshots-toys-irresistible-seductive-air-pulse-stimulator&data=05%7C01%7C%7Cb5fdaaa3e6c548e7439108daf67ee1d3%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638093322051685411%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=v%2FKFo3J9CUQLxam7wl4Gbc%2FM9Q3SazyI9NEtVnGpyyM%3D&reserved=0

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Get outside of the bedroom.

Make love in a different place at a different time. A simple change in location or shaking off of your old routine makes the sex feel brand new. And don’t rule out the outdoors! There’s nothing like feeling the fresh air on parts of the body that don’t usually get to see the sun! One idea for a sexy resolution would be to have a make-out sesh (or more, for the daring) in the great outdoors. Hiking, camping, a secluded lake — there are options!

Take snack breaks

This doesn’t necessarily mean pausing mid-coitus to go and make some popcorn (although we fully support that), but instead incorporating more food into sex.

Hold an ice cube and trace sensitive parts of your partners body Or put cream on areas where it would be stimulating to lick off.

Come up with your own striptease routine.

It can be an incredible turn on if you are able to get out of your head, lose your inhibitions, and channel your inner seductress and there’s no better way to relax than through music. Whether it’s a fully choreographed routine or a dance improvised in the moment, there’s surely no one who wouldn’t appreciate a striptease.

Act out as many fantasies as you can.

It can involve role play, costumes and losing yourselves in characters and scenarios Whether the vibe is naughty teacher, sexy nurse, or something a little more exotic (we’re not gonna judge!) embrace the silly sexiness of role playing Or, it can be as simple as using your imagination. One of the sexiest things we have is our imagination. There is no pressure to have to enact those fantasies, but just the act of sharing can create extra intimacy. For those who are a little shy, texting instead of sharing it face to face is totally allowed! There’s so many different fantasies, and all are worth exploring!

Don’t let romance fall to the wayside.

While our brains can get very “sex, sex, sex,” certain intimate relationships benefit from something a little more tender. Simply appreciating each other and showing that appreciation and value in romantic terms is rare and valuable today. Don’t take that for granted, let the romance be a first priority sometimes I promise it will make a difference in the bed room.

Be more open with your partner about your desires.

Something that facilitates the introduction of these new ideas into your sex routine is honest and open communication with your partner.

Some partners will take offence and feel pressured if you surprise them with porn or something new, Others will be delighted. Make sure you’re putting your partner first. If you’re not sure if they’d like something, just ask! Scared of offending them? Approach it as a little something extra — not as a cure to a problem you’re having in bed.

Step outside of your comfort zone.

But not too far. Never do anything that doesn’t make you feel good for the sake of a resolution. Rather, use this as an opportunity to experiment with something you’ve always been curious about but have maybe been hesitant about trying — such as bondage or maybe sexotic’s 14 night love box!

The truth is, consent is everything, honesty is everything, and just being open with someone regarding your inner most desires shouldn’t be shameful. I advise taking a look on sexotic and grabbing some accessories, whips, masks, hand cuffs and just casually implementing them into your usual routine. Resolving to experiment with sex beyond the vanilla version can be a good goal for 2023!

14 NIGHT VALENTINE LOVE BOX – STC Kelowna https://emea01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsexotic.ca%2Fproducts%2F14-night-valentine-love-box&data=05%7C01%7C%7Cb5fdaaa3e6c548e7439108daf67ee1d3%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaaaa%7C1%7C0%7C638093322051685411%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=xyVW9IzxbGO%2FhtI%2FAWtGguY3%2BIJ6CfDkYrQTkUProzY%3D&reserved=0

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Erotic books are my guilty pleasure

Reading more books and getting turned on with your partner? That’s killing two birds with one stone. Ideally, you and your partner would pick erotic books to read and learn from at the same time, but an erotic book club with anyone would do the trick.

And if you’re looking for sexy reading that’s less time-consuming, the internet is full of great short erotic stories.

You could even listen to an audiobook while getting frisky in bed, Usually bringing the phone to bed isn’t a great start to making a sexy moment happen, but it can be if there is a hot audio book or short story to listen to together! Check out an app that has erotic short stories or bookmark some of the hottest scenes in an audio romance novel and see what it inspires for your bedroom book club of two.

Schedule theme nights.

The words “schedule” and “sex” aren’t necessarily the most arousing when used in the same sentence, but this is one exception. Picking a theme for each day, or even just one day a week, is a fun way to change up the routine couples can find themselves falling into.

You could do something like a minimum of a once a week oral night, where you pleasure your significant other without the expectation of penetrative sex This goes both ways, depending on what each partner is comfortable with. Giving head can be more personal than actually having sex, so just be cordial and enthusiastic.

Embrace Body Positivity

For most of us, feeling sexy goes hand in hand with feeling confident. You are a beautiful gorgeous rockstar, so stop telling yourself otherwise! exchange that negative self-talk for positive energy this year! Stop comparing yourself to other people, You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself! Be kind to yourself always.

Create your own sex playlist.

Everyone has at least one dirty song that gets them in the mood. What’s yours? Mine has to be “whatever you like” by T.I “I want your body, need your body / Long as you got me you won’t need nobody.”

You 100% need this song on your sex playlist. Truly, it deserves a spot on any playlist – sexy or otherwise. And, if you’re ever not in the mood for the original, the cover by Anne Marina  is just as good and maybe even a little dirtier? If you need any more convincing, it was actually the song of choice for the infamous gossip girl threesome scene.

Make the Bedroom Sexier

For the final resolution, resolve to turn up the sexiness of the bedroom itself. Consider adding some amazing high-quality sheets, a piece of sex furniture (yep, that’s a thing!), or even keep it simple by changing the lighting (a dimmer switch is a fab idea) or adding candles for some mood lighting. Make the bedroom a sexy haven, and good sex will follow!

3…2…1 happy new year!! Ok, it’s a little belated, but it’s still never too late to set some resolutions and get your year on the right track.

Shay Lassen

Since December is a time when we tend to hide out and hibernate and enjoy the many feasts, it’s also a good time to make sex a lot more exciting, since the season calls for it! How you ask? Try out some of these ideas from our naughty and nice list and make the most of Christmas this year!

After all, it will be silly not to start 2023 off with a BANG…

Make Time to Connect, and to Try New Things Together At this time of year, many of us are making all kinds of plans to see other people, from family gatherings to office parties to gift exchanges with friends. However, it’s important to plan time to invest in your relationship in the midst of all of this. Sometimes we get so focused on scheduling visits with other people that we neglect to schedule time for our partners. 

Set aside some time that’s just for you and your partner. Plan a date night—or even a date weekend. Use it as a time to de-stress together and get some quality time. 

Put it on the calendar along with all of your other plans to make it a priority so that it doesn’t get lost in the mix. I know some people think that scheduling sex and intimacy sounds unromantic, but it can actually make for a more passionate encounter.

Think about it this way, if you know it’s going to happen, you have time for anticipation to build. You’ll have more time to plan outfits, new toys or things you want to try! You can also flirt in advance in the days, and hours leading up to it and make it a form of foreplay so that by the time your date night arrives, you’re in the mood and looking forward to it. 

Hang Mistletoes

Maybe it’s not a tradition for you to hang Mistletoes or even have a Christmas tree, but if we’re getting into the festive spirit, then why the hell not! Hang mistletoes every nook and corner of your house and if you two happen to stand under one, then definitely kiss! Or maybe more?

Dress up

If you want to spice things up in bed, there isn’t a better time to do so! Shop for some sexy Santa costumes for your partner and play dress up! They can dress up as your very own sexy Santa and bring you ‘goodies’ to try!

Santa & The Naughty Elf

This one’s a classic role play that comes in handy around Christmas. Be Santa for the night, while your partner is a naughty elf, doing really naughty things to turn you on? Or maybe they did something bad and needs a good spanking?Lots of fun and you can even add a bondage set! I recommend https://sexotic.ca/products/adam-eve-eves-fetish-dreams-beginner-bondage-set-black (https://sexotic.ca/products/adam-eve-eves-fetish-dreams-beginner-bondage-set-black)

Make A Naughty List

Whether you want to be naughty or nice this year, you can definitely put it on the list and make some sexy time with your partner. Hands over a naughty list of do’s and don’ts for your partner to follow or a list of naughty things you want this Christmas. It could be anything from handcuffs to whipped cream to even some crazy sex toys or lube!

Here’s 5 recommendations!

 (https://sexotic.ca/products/deia-the-feather)    1.    Deia THE FEATHER – STC Kelowna

 (https://sexotic.ca/products/deia-the-feather)    2.    JO Tri-Me Triple Pack – Neapolitan – STC Kelowna

 (https://sexotic.ca/products/jo-tri-me-triple-pack-neapolitan)    3.    https://sexotic.ca/products/next-level-sex

 (https://sexotic.ca/products/next-level-sex)    4.    Tantus Silicone Little Flirt Butt Plug Purple Haze – STC Kelowna

 (https://sexotic.ca/products/tantus-silicone-little-flirt-butt-plug-purple-haze)    5.    https://sexotic.ca/products/kama-sutra-kit-arouse-me (https://sexotic.ca/products/kama-sutra-kit-arouse-me)

Get out of Santa’s workshop

Forget the bedroom, try somewhere new! The kitchen table? Or the shower? Maybe even under the Christmas tree? Keep it interesting and fun! Of course, make sure no one is home if you are looking to have a session on the kitchen floor!

Keep it quiet!

If you’ve got guests staying over, or you’re sleeping at a family member’s house, you’ll probably be wanting to keep things as quiet as possible in the bedroom. So why not turn it into a chance to make things more exciting?

There are plenty of ways to stifle noise, and the tension can make things more fun. Tell your family you’re wrapping presents and not to disturb you, then turn up some music and jingle all the way! If your problem is a banging headboard or squeaky bed, move things to the floor.

Alternatively, you could go into a modified version of doggy style, where one partner can bury their face into a pillow in order to stifle any sounds.

Advent calendars aren’t just for kids!

Who said advent calendars were just for kids? Yep, sex toy advent calendars do exists! So why not spice up your sex life with 12 naughty sexotic nights! For 12 nights before Christmas, each night you get to unwrap a new toy that will get you and your partners senses flowing. You get to experience new things, maybe toys you normally would not dare to try. Every night will bring you new possibilities and excitement. 12 NAUGHTY SEXOTIC NIGHTS BOX – STC Kelowna (https://sexotic.ca/products/12-naughty-sexotic-nights-box)

Well, I hope our naughty and nice list will help you keep things extra naughty this holiday season! What I’ve mentioned above are surely to give you that extra kinky push you always need during the holidays. Have a look at your options and what works best for both you and your partner and take some of these ideas into 2023 and start having more enjoyable and fun sex!

Wishing you a very happy—and sexy—holiday season!

Shay Lassen

Pre-Lubricants

Did you know that some lubricants are intended to be used at different sexual times? Yup! Their sure is! not just when you suddenly need more moisture.

“Pre-lubes” are growing in popularity, and largely fall into the relatively new, CBD-infused lube genre. These products are intended to be applied roughly 10-30 minutes before climax, though some can take less or more time to feel their wonderful effects.

While these types of lube affect everyone differently, vulva owners report feelings of enhanced warmth and blood flow, tingling, relaxation, and ease in reaching orgasm (or, multiples). For some, the orgasms are also longer or more intense. Vulva owners: this lube has your name written all over it.

Water-Based Lubricants

Water-based lubricants usually have a natural sensation and can be used with silicone and latex products (unless indicated otherwise). If you’re using toys, water-based is the way to go. These typically don’t stain the sheets or anything else they may splash on. They are also not particularly greasy, but this light texture does mean that you may want to re-apply during play. Sometimes just adding a little water (or saliva) does the trick.

Water-based lubricants often contain deionized water, and also may have glycerin or propylene glycol as part of their listed ingredients. While they rarely cause irritation, some people do have sensitivities, so a patch test is a good idea. If you are someone who is sensitive, there are water-based options that use more organic ingredients – and leave your genitals feeling moisturized and healthy. Ooh la la.

Silicone-Based Lubricants

These are the longest-lasting type of lubricants, are very slippery in texture, and generally don’t need much reapplication during use. Silicone-based lubes usually have no taste, odor, or stickiness unless buying a scented type. This is the best lube for anal sex and prolonged vaginal intercourse. If you’re feeling frisky in a swimming pool or shower (let’s hear it for shower sex!), silicone lube will also be the best choice, as it won’t wash away.

Silicone lubes are safe for use with most condoms, but not silicone sex toys – so if you’re using silicone-based lube, best to keep things “acoustic” (i.e., no extra bells and whistles in the toy department, unless those toys are made out of something other than silicone).

Oil-Based Lubricants

Oil-based lubricants have, you guessed it, an oily texture – lovely to the touch if you prefer a more heavily-moisturized feel. And bonus…you can use most of these for erotic massage, as well as intercourse.

If you’re curious about using an oil-based lubricant, there are a few very important things to consider. For one, it isn’t a safe choice to use this type of lubricant with latex condoms or sex toys made from rubber, PVC, or latex. It can damage them, and we don’t want our condoms or our toys to be compromised, at all.

Another consideration is that some vulva owners find that oil-based lubricants alter their PH balance, which can lead to an increased risk of vaginal infections and bacterial overgrowth. So, test them out first before going ham. They can also stain the sheets, so throwing down an old towel is a good idea.

Many health professionals recommend washing off oil-based lubricants after use in unscented soap and warm water. The concern is that the oil can leave a coating on the rectum or vagina that may increase the risk of bacterial infections. I also don’t recommend products like baby oil or mineral oil, as they often contain petrochemicals and other potentially harmful ingredients. So rather than rooting around in the medicine cabinet, look for lubes whose label clearly indicates that they’re safe for sex.

Think of lube like you think of hair products – not always necessary, but always available, when you’d like a little extra sparkle. So spread the good word (and the lube), and enjoy finding the perfect blend for you.

Happy shopping!

Shay Lassen

A dom?

A voyeur or an exhibitionist?

The moment you step into the kink waters, it almost feels like you are learning a completely new language. And that’s what these terms all refer to: various ways to be kinky, each with their own ways of sexual play.

Kink is where we get a little more exploratory with the psychology of sex, and sure, it can be edgy. It can involve pain play, and it can involve leather, chains and whips. All the stereotypical stuff.

The thing is, kink can be very simple, because what we’re really talking about here is play: using our imagination to intensify the sexual experience, and collaborating with one another to pull it off.

But wait. Why would I want to try kink?

Kink offers an endless world of sexual play possibilities, but here are some benefits to kink as a whole:

• can help your relationship, by building greater intimacy and trust
• offers a deep way to explore the feelings you want to experience during sex
• allows you to try erotic power exchange (more on that below) in a safe, sexy way
• adds novelty to the sexual experience

Sound interesting? I sure think so! Let’s look at some common kinks, and how you can go about trying them out In real life! As with everything in sex, though: if you’re partnered and new to kink, it all starts with a conversation. 

1. Submission

If your sexual fantasies tend to feature you in a “powerless” position, where you’re tied down, you’re being told what to do, or you’re being asked to give up power…these are all signs of a submissive or sub type. Here are some ideas to explore submission:

• Having a partner take away one of your senses or abilities. For example, they could take away your sight (with a blindfold).
• You could also relinquish your physical control, with bed restraints, leg spreaders, or handcuffs. ( hey by the way you can find all those supplies and more at sexotic.ca)
• Creating a situation where your partner makes the rules, and you have to follow them. (For example…you have to say “please” for certain sex acts.)

Now, these are all ideas for submissive behaviors, but really, what makes a sub/dom dynamic hot is more the overall vibe. The alchemy of consent and chemistry-building can help you experience the delicious feeling of being under someone else’s control or controlling someone else…which brings me to our next kink type. 

2. Dominance

If your fantasies tend to feature you in a “powerful” position, where you’re barking orders, you’re teaching someone, you’re tying someone else down…these are all signs of a dominant or dom type. Here are some ideas to explore dominance, if you’re partnered:

• You can dominate through text, building tension leading up to the sexual encounter, by telling your partner exactly what you’re going to do to them.
• In the moment, you can try restraining your partner, using the examples above.
• On the “rules” point above for subs, one rule that is very popular is telling them they can’t come until you say so.
• the key to being an excellent dom is being hyper-observant of the sub and their body language, while you exert control over the situation. YOU are the boss of this sexual encounter. Let them worship YOU!

Of course, you can also play out dom/sub dynamics in edgier, more roleplay-esque ways, such as CNC (consensual non-consensual sex) or DDLG (daddy dom/little girl). Let’s take a look at each.

3. CNC (Consensual Non-Consensual Sex)

Just so we’re all clear, this is a fantasy about forced sex so if you are not comfortable with this or think it may trigger you PLEASE scroll past. To pull it off, your communication must be crystal clear up-front, to delineate an exciting yet safe sexual experience for all involved. Here are some ground rules:

• Experimenting with CNC should only happen between trusting parties.
• Establish a safeword: a tool in the kink world, to help the situation from going too far. Take this step ahead of time, outside the bedroom.
• From there: you can play! As a heightened form of the dom/sub dynamic, CNC could look like one partner pushing another against a wall, “forcing” them to have sex right then and there.
• Or, it could look more dramatic, like establishing a day for the event, but not the time, giving the encounter an air of unpredictability.
• Another way to play with CNC dynamics is for the sub to sink into the “struggle” headspace, where they are trying to resist the sex itself – possibly while it’s happening.

Again, this one is edgy! No doubt about it. If it scares you, don’t try it. But in a container of safety and trust, CNC can offer a way to play with sexual feelings that aren’t always societally acceptable. That’s why it’s always good to remember that kink is play, is in the world of imagination and exploration.

4. DDLG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl)

Another way to express dom/sub dynamic is through DDLG, where the dom is the “daddy,” and the sub is the “little girl.” (Note: this doesn’t have to be gendered. Take these terms as energetic descriptions, not age / genitalia-related.) The vibe of this play is one in which the daddy dom plays more of a caretaker role, while the little girl plays an innocent, perhaps child-like role. Here are some ways to play:

• Start solo. If this kink profile sounds interesting to you, do some research on your own first: watch ethical porn, listen to audio erotica, etc. and see if this kink style is authentically compelling.
• If it is, try playing outside of the bedroom first: the daddy dom may treat his little with candy, get something special for the little to wear, tell them how cute they look. At this stage, we’re just building a vibe.
• When you move to the having-sex stage, a fantastic way to heighten the energy is via dirty talk. Play with language here that draws attention to the roles you play: “are you being a good little girl?” Or perhaps: “please do that again, Daddy.”

Now let’s take a look at a couple of kink styles that are less about power, and more about transgression. Here are two common ways to express that “ooh, that feels naughty” transgressive feeling. 

5. Voyeurism

If your fantasies involve watching other people have sex, you might have a voyeur streak. Here are some ideas to explore voyeurism if you’re partnered – all, of course, with consent.

• Watching your partner undress, shower, or bathe.
• Watching your partner masturbate. You could either sit in the room with them or “secretly” watch them through a crack in the door.
• Bringing another person into the bedroom (advanced kink play right here!), and watch your partner have sex with them.

Being a “voyeur” is one of the most common fantasies out there, for good reason: there’s the thrill of possibly getting caught, and for a lot of us, it’s enjoyable to watch partners “in their element” – when they don’t realize we’re there.

6. Exhibitionism

The flip side of voyeurism, of course, is exhibitionism. If your fantasies involve being watched, or the thrill of getting caught doing the act…you might be an exhibitionist. Here are some ideas to explore it.

• Having sex outside. This could be somewhere relatively private, like your backyard
• Or, you could go for something more bold: sex on a hike, or while you’re camping. (Note: exhibitionism, while fun, also involves the potential onlookers around you. Be courteous, and choose spots wisely.)
• Having sex in a car: a little cramped, but sexy. You could try this one using lotus position, with both people in the passenger seat, receiving partner sitting in the lap of the giving partner.

Congratulations! You’ve now added more words to your sexual vocabulary, you’re well-acquainted with some common kink profiles, and you’ve also got lots of ideas for play. Now go forth, and enjoy all the kink the world has to offer!

Shay Lassen

Did you know that in February of 1988, British Columbia MP Svend Robinson came out as Canada’s first openly gay member of parliament? Pretty cool right!

Having many Friends and close family members being apart of the LGBTQ community, Pride month has always had a special place in my heart, And for anyone interested in sexual health and sex education, the queer community has given us so much: nuanced language for gender and sexuality, inspiring examples of activism and advocacy, and role models of sexual expression. So if you, like me, want to celebrate this month right, here are some ways to do it.

1. Educate Yourself On Pride History!

Educating yourself is always number 1!!

The Stonewall Uprising is a story worth reading. When police raided the Stonewall Inn in NYC’s Greenwich Village, ended up being violent with patrons, the patrons fought back – a turning point moment for gay rights in the USA. In the aftermath, queer folks organized for liberation, arguing they should be free to live their lives openly, without fear of being arrested. 

When asked about the history of pride, often the first thing that comes to people’s minds is Stonewall Riots. Canada, however, has it’s own rich history and turning points in the struggle for and eventual celebration of LGBTQ rights.

On May 14, 1969 Canada decriminalized homosexual acts between consenting adults with the passage of the Criminal Law Amendment Act first introduced in December 1968. It receives royal assent on June 27. One day before the Stonewall Riots took place in New York!

On August 28, 1971, roughly 100 people from Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto and the surrounding areas gathered in the pouring rain at Parliament Hill for Canada’s First Gay Liberation Protest and March. They presented a petition to the government with a list of ten demands for equal rights and protections.

Simultaneously, another much smaller group of roughly twenty gay activists demonstrated at Robson Square in Vancouver.

On December 15th, 1973 Homosexuality is removed as a “disorder’ from the Diagnostics and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders.

In January of 1974, The Brunswick four are arrested at the Brunswick Tavern in Toronto. Some historians believe that the arrest and its consequences was a key incident ushering in a more militant gay and lesbian liberation movement in Canada, much as the Stonewall Inn Riots politicized gays and lesbians in the United States.

This was also one of the first occasions that a gay or lesbian topic received extensive press coverage in Canada. The women brought charges against the officers subsequently for verbal and physical police harassment, however the officers were acquitted due to their switching their hats and badge numbers making them unable to be accurately identified.

Receiving royal assent on June 20, 1996, the federal government passed Bill C-33, adding “sexual orientation” to the Canadian Human Rights Act which covers federally-regulated activities. Parliament enacted Bill C-33, An Act to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act, to include sexual orientation among the Act’s prohibited grounds of discrimination.

There’s so much more history when it comes to Canada’s Pride history, I highly recommend looking into it!

2. Get To Know Your Desire Style

One of the most powerful legacies of the gay rights movement is the ability to play with language – especially when it comes to your desire style, and who or what turns you on. Pride Month is an ideal time to get more familiar with the contours of your own sexuality!

3. Practice Self-Acceptance

Working on self-acceptance will boost your confidence and the way you come across to others. Remember you have the right to love who you want and no one can take that away from you. Gay people are no different from anyone else in terms of desiring happiness, relationships, and love and having dreams and goals for life. It can also be helpful to recognize that you’re a multi-faceted being and being gay is just one of many facets — just like having blue eyes, being artistic, or an upbeat disposition is. Although you may be different to your family and friends, you can choose to live life authentically and true to who you really are.

Although coming out can be a confusing time, it’s a great opportunity to work on cultivating your identity. By practicing self-acceptance, expressing your individuality, and finding gay friends, you can become comfortable and confident with who you are.

4.Get Involved with Queer Rights!

June is also an excellent time to volunteer with organizations who support and protect members of the LGBTQ community. Here are some options:

♥ Egale Canada

Advances equality and justice for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans-identified people, and their families, across Canada.

♥ The 519

A meeting place and focus for its vital and varied downtown Toronto community. Within a supportive environment it responds to community issues and needs.

♥ PFLAG Canada

PFLAG Canada. A national voice that speaks for a more accepting Canadian society by providing support, education and resources on issues of sexual orientation.

♥ Qmunity

QMUNITY is a non-profit organization based in Vancouver, BC that works to improve queer, trans, and Two-Spirit lives. We provide a safer space for 2SLGBTQAI+

♥ OUTSaskatoon

OUTSaskatoon builds community for LGBTQ2S+ people of all ages and backgrounds. We provide peer support and counselling, queer-specific education.

♥ Rainbow Refugee

Reaching Out Assisting Refugees (ROAR) is a Nanaimo LGBTQ & Allies association which sponsors and resettles sexual/gender minority refugees.

♥ Rainbow Resource Centre (RRC)

Sunshine House Inc. Winnipeg, MB. Sunshine House is a community drop-in and resource centre focusing on harm reduction and social inclusion.

♥ Buddies in Bad Times Theatre

Buddies in Bad Times Theatre. A premiere gay and lesbian theatre, founded in 1979 in Toronto. Each year Buddies presents its exciting, high profile season.

♥ Lgbt Pride Centre Of Edmonton

The Pride Centre of Edmonton is a registered charity that was incorporated in August of 2004

♥ Vancouver Pride Society

LGBT Vancouver not only works on issues regarding the LGBTQ community, but it is an all-year service that focuses on many social justice issues.

♥ FOUNDRY KELOWNA

Foundry Kelowna brings together more than 25 different programs and organizations that will address the health care needs of youth ages 12 to 24 years and their families. This includes mental health services, primary care, and peer support services.

♥ ETCETERA YOUTH GROUP

Etcetera is a weekly, facilitated LGBTQ+ program hosted at the Foundry for youth age 11-18. 

♥ ETCETERA

PARENT NETWORK

The Etcetera Parent Network is a once a month meeting for parents and guardians of LGBT2Q+ youth based in Kelowna BC

As someone who has 2 amazing LGBTQ brothers trying to find there footing in the community, it’s extremely important to me to spread awareness. If you know anyone struggling here are some instant help lines, don’t be afraid to reach out, you are loved!

LGBT Youth Line:

phone 1-800-268-9688;

text 647-694-4275

(support by phone, text, and online chat—Canada based)

The Trevor Project: phone 866-488-7386

(LGBTQ+ hotline/lifeline, text, and online chat service—USA based; also has peer chat space and online books and worksheets)

Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (LGBTQ+ affirming hotline/lifeline that also has chat services)

Whether your Pride Month involves volunteering, a parade float, or rainbows aplenty, loving those who are of the community, I hope you enjoy this time of celebration and activation. Pushing for equal rights isn’t limited to just one month – but this month especially – let’s give thanks to the queer activists who gave us permission to love who we want to love ♥

Shay Lassen

See, anal is not something you want to jump right into, there is right and wrong when it comes to the world of anal. The rewards are fantastic, but I definitely recommend a lil’ prep. So here’s how to start exploring, in a way that’s safe – and – highly, highly erotic. 

1. Get a butt plug

Listen, if you’re curious about anal, start by light insertion by yourself. Butt plugs come in a variety of sizes, and kits to start from something small and slowly work your way up in size. What they do is gently stretch out your sphincter muscles to accommodate what you’re putting in there. And don’t worry; just like your legs aren’t permanently loosey goosey after you’ve done a stretch session, the same is true with sphincter muscles: they will look, feel, and function exactly the same, but be more pliable, thanks to our friend the butt plug.

Also, they’re cute! You can find bedazzled butt plugs, unicorn tail butt plugs, and much more (check out sexotics selection) Always look for a handle (let’s not get any butt plugs lost in our anal walls please I don’t think anyone wants to explain that to their doctor) and if you’re an absolute beginner, get a small size. The idea is that you can work your way up to bigger sizes, the more comfortable you get. 

2. Also try anal beads

I’m recommending these and a butt plug right now, largely for your solo sex (masturbation), so you can touch yourself on your own and figure out which sensations you like. To that end, anal beads are exactly what the name suggests, starting small at the insertion point and getting larger toward the end. Why? Because while you’re having an orgasm, the beads can be pulled out slowly, which stimulates the clenching sphincter muscles…creating a radically intense O, like an orchestra between your booty and your pelvic floor muscles. 

4. Be hygienic

The thing that scares most people from trying anal is probably exactly what you think it is: “um, I go to the bathroom with that body part…” getting clean for anal is not nearly as challenging as most people think.

Let me point this out, waste is actually not stored in your anus, but your upper bowels — so the chances of a toy, finger, or penis interacting with it in a major way are quite low. 

Still, fecal matter can be present in the lower bowels, so it’s a good to go to the bathroom 30 to 60 minutes before anal play, and wash your entire booty (anus opening, crack, cheeks) afterwards. And a word here, about enemas: it’s completely understandable why people turn to these, just beware that the wrong enema method can damage the protective lining of your anal walls –  pre-disposing you to injury, and possibly STI’s. So if you’re planning on using an enema, look for one that will clean you all out, without damaging your body. 

5. Communicate – a bunch!

Alright, let’s say you’ve trained your fabulous booty, you’ve cleaned up, and you’re ready for action with a partner. It’s now showtime!

Anal sex can be incredibly hot, owing to the taboo factor and the novelty of sensations – but listen to me, when I say *talk to each other.* You’ve got a ton of options for how you approach anal play, from analingus, gloving up and experimenting with fingers, or full-on penetration with a toy or penis. Position-wise, the most common options are face-down (receiver lying on their stomach with legs slightly apart), or “deep spoon” if you want something more cuddly. 

The most important thing though is that you’re staying communicative, both leading up to and during the act itself. Relaxation helps the ultra-responsive muscles of the sphincter release and open up, so if you’re the receiver, don’t be afraid to ask for anal massage during foreplay – progressing from gently rubbing the anus, to insertion with a finger or toy. Your body will react faster than your mind can, and will clench if you move too fast – so don’t be afraid to take your time here. Taking time is key!

As all of us get a little more open-minded about anal, it’s freeing to realize that this body part can lead to pleasure too, if we want it. So try these steps above if you’re curious, and if you do experience the not-at-all-elusive joy of a bootygasm…congratulations! Even if you don’t, clitoral / penile orgasms can be that much more intense and exciting, with anal in the mix. So explore, keep an open dialogue with your partner, and enjoy the fun of seducing the booty.

Shay Lassen

When asked about teens and masturbation, she replied: “I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it’s a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

Jocelyn was asked to resign just months later.

Today most would think that is almost a normal thing to say, but still decades later we’re still shaking off the stigma around masturbation – due in large part to visionaries like Jocelyn, a crew of sex educators, and sex toy retailers past and present. (I highly recommend sexotic for all your masturbation needs)

Not only do we now know that masturbation is not only fun, it’s beneficial for you and your health as well!

Look at this! 

• If you’re a penis owner, masturbation may lower your prostate cancer risk.
• Masturbation tones your pelvic floor muscles, which helps penis-owners with erectile dysfunction, and…
• Vulva owners with incontinence (super common after having a baby).
• Masturbation boosts your immunity.
• It can help you fall asleep faster.
• It can even boost your mood, due to the chemical cocktail of endorphins/oxytocin/serotonin.

So as you can see there are many benefits with very little downsides.

So if you are still on the fence about masturbation and why you should do it? Do you need some more encouragement? Don’t worry I got you!

Keep reading and learn 6 solo sex hacks that will help you masturbate well… and I mean really really well. 

Mix It Up

If your current masturbation is a little rote (“watch porn, hand down pants, stroke/vibe, orgasm”), here are several ways you can tweak the formula for bigger, better orgasms:

Try a Toy that Moves with Your Body

Vulva owners: do you want to explore yourself with different vibrations that match your movements? Try a soft vibrator that conforms to the palm of your hand and is designed to move with you without losing any intensity.

Now what I’m about to say next might scare some of you, and that is okay! But it’s also okay to be interested in trying new things!

Try anal toys

Now all you penis owners first of all, have you tried sex toys at all? Because it’s 2022 baby. The sex toy industry is ready for you! (Especially sexotic 😉) They have it all! vibrating cock rings, strokers, sleeves etc., there are a million ways to stimulate your penis, with vibes that access deeper, more internal nerve endings – the ones your hand can’t stimulate on its own.

Let’s get back to the point, now is a great time to check out prostate massagers: just like the G-Spot in vagina owners, the prostate is a deep, internal gland for penis-owners that can be accessed through the anus. And if you’ve never had an anal orgasm before…believe me, you haven’t lived.

Have you ever heard of edging? Well that brings us to #3 of the list!

Edging is where you bring yourself to that point where you are making that “O” face and then you back off, cooling yourself down and then stimulating yourself right back up! The result? More blood engorging your genitals, more intense orgasms.

And now #4 on the list,

Try using your non dominant hand

 Even something as simple as using your non-dominant hand can be enough to tickle your neural pathways, and make your masturbation routine more fresh. Give it a shot – and see if it doesn’t make solo sex a little more novel, a little more surprising.

Create a Juicy Fantasy

Sometimes, taking our masturbation from “ugh”to “OMG” is as easy as having the right story inside our heads.

Below you’ll find some suggestions, pick 2-3 to try out during you next solo session.

• Being slightly submissive
• Threesomes
• Passionate oral sex, full attention
• The last hot experience I had
• Group sex
• Varies, but often shower sex
• My crush who barely knows I exist
• My boyfriend having sex with someone else
• Giving head
• Girl on girl
• Being with an enthusiastic partner
• Getting it from behind while looking in a big mirror

Inspiring right? Try them out, and if none fit your fancy, I’m sure in time you’ll find a fantasy that does!

Try Mindful Masturbation

On the flip side of fantasy, we’ve got mindful masturbation: an embodiment practice where the whole goal is tuning into your physical sensations, and exploring your body without chasing an orgasm. To try it…

• Get yourself into a meditative state with a few minutes of deep breathing: big breaths, where you exhale longer than you inhale. What we’re going here is toning the vagus nerve, which effectively turns off your fight or flight response.
• You can also engage your senses with external touches: lighting a candle, experimenting with ice or body-safe candle wax, listening to your favorite sexy music.
• As you touch yourself, resist going right for the genitals, and tease other erogenous zones instead. Ask questions along the way: “how does it feel when I stroke my labia?” “How does it feel when I stimulate my testes?” By taking the scenic route in solo sex, you’re waking up more neural pathways to pleasure.
• As you wrap up the experience, you can try one more thing: #MEDITATEMASTURBATEMANIFEST. Envision your larger goals, and align the peak of your pleasure with those intentions.

So here’s where we end off, and I challenge you to try at least one of these tips and tricks to achieving a great solo sex life, whether it’s edging, test-driving a new fantasy, mindful masturbation or anything else you’ve seen on this list. Seize the day (and possibly a sex toy from sexotic), and enjoy getting to know yourself in a super hot way.

Shay Lassen

Shay Lassen